In the past, I considered negative emotions as something to avoid, fight or conquer almost immediately — like these have no place in my existence.
Arguments kept me up until three in the morning and always left me with a tear-stained face and body-wracking sobs until I passed out.
I suppressed my emotions until my head and chest hurt, crying it all out at night and fighting with the same demons over and over again.
I avoided the elephant in the room, storing it in a compartmentalized box, only to open as Pandora did to her own every night. But rather than cause harm to others, I blew up and caused harm only to myself.
In a Healthline article, emotional suppression “can be so much of a habit that it begins to happen unconsciously, so you might also notice you begin to lose touch with your own feelings.”
ACKNOWLEDGE your emotions, they are valued. / PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF UNSPLASH/BROCK WEGNER
And rather than making it all go away, “holding back your emotions can actually intensify them,” the article added.
“Feel your feelings. They are valid,” said my friend. “Feel your sad feelings, but don’t let it stay with you for too long. I am here, too, you know.”
Although uncomfortable, acknowledging and feeling my feelings can help “unpack what is important and meaningful.”
According to psychologytoday.com, “We need to ride these choppy waves, while holding our thoughts and interpretations lightly, in order to slowly drop into deeper emotional waters where the felt-sense of our values reside. Only then can we distinguish our primary feelings (and the values they reflect) from all the secondary noise.”
However, it’s easier said than done.
EMOTIONS are a normal part of who we are as humans. / PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF PEXELS/ROMAN ODINTSOV
Living in uncertainty where everything is muddled and blurry, there’s little to no time to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, but rather focus on plain “surviving” or being “strong” despite constant struggling.
Allowing yourself to feel is human. “We all feel happy, sad, low, or exhilarated. Emotions are a normal part of who we are as humans. Everyone processes events and emotions differently,” said healthline.com.
“What might be little to you might be a big deal for someone else,” is something I tell myself every day. “Always be kind” is second.
“Do not fight your negative emotions. Observe and befriend them,” is what Zen Buddhist teacher and author of The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down Haemin Sunim says in the second chapter of his book.
He adds: “Rather than getting caught in the emotion without any self-awareness, you are inquiring and then feeling what is there. As you get better at it, you will realize that negative emotions are not a fixed reality.”
Your feelings, emotions are valid. Take it day by day, hour by hour, or even minute by minute. Your feelings matter!
Credit belongs to : www.tribune.net.ph