‘Know what you deserve’: Iza Calzado recalls being in a toxic relationship before

Iza Calzado at the celebration of 100 years of cinema at Sine Sandaan at the New Frontier Theater in Quezon City in this September 12, 2019 file photo. Mark Demayo, ABS-CBN News

MANILA — Before finding the man of her life, Ben Wintle, veteran actress Iza Calzado admitted being stuck in a “toxic” relationship in the past and getting blinded by her attachment to love.

In “Paano Ba ‘To” vlog series of host Bianca Gonzales, Calzado gave her take on why women stay in a bad relationship as she shared some of her experiences.

Calzado admitted she was madly in love with that person at the time that she took for granted the red flags in their relationship.

“When I entered the relationship, I thought I was strong. In the relationship before that, ako pa nga 'yung nang-iiwan, may ganun. And then I met somebody I was madly in love with. And I knew after several months parang it was getting toxic,” she said.

But despite this, the award-winning actress revealed she got more attached whenever her former partner pushed her away. She even ignored what her friends were telling her.

“The more toxic it was, the more I was attached to him. The more he pushed me away, the more I wanted to be with him. The more challenged I became to prove to myself, to everybody kasi eventually people were verbalizing na that they didn't like him for me,” Calzado shared.

The 38-year-old Kapamilya star disclosed that she was also insecure during those times which prompted her to even check her partner’s personal messages on the phone.

“I was very insecure but because I was being given reasons to be insecure. Nagkataon pa with this guy, alam mo 'yung mga guys na ma-check out ng women, tapos masabi ng things. So lalo akong nai-insecure then umabot ako sa point na tumitingin ako sa phone,” she divulged.

“‘Yung tumitingin ako sa messages. Nagpakababa ako. At saka tipong 'pag may lalapit na babae, makikipagusap lang, naka-dagger look na 'ko. The girl is not flirting pero feeling ko iiwanan na niya ko for that person. Umabot sa ganun,” Calzado added.

Asked why she stayed in the relationship? Calzado bared it was the same kind of drama she witnessed in her family growing up.

“For me, that drama was familiar, that is what I grew up with. There was drama in our home… I was attached, because that was what I thought love was like. Because that's what love was like in our home growing up,” said Calzado, who also made it clear she was not physically abused by her former partner.

The star of ABS-CBN’s series “Ang Sa’yo Ay Akin'' went on to debunk the romantic idea of one completing another's life. Calzado claimed it is dangerous to think that you need someone to complete you.

“It's a romantic idea. It's so nice to hear — one person, another person in this world will make you complete, will fill you. Sometimes parang you're always searching for something to fill that void, that hole. Pero it's not true. The only person that can complete you is you. And, of course, the divine,” she explained.

In her parting message to the letter sender, Calzado stressed the value of self-love and knowing what you deserve, especially in love which she described as a battlefield.

“You deserve so much more. Know what you deserve and never settle. Self-love. You have to prioritize yourself above anyone else. You are that main character of this movie,” the actress quipped.

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Credit belongs to : www.cbc.ca

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