Divorcing couples under more pressure with higher housing costs and tough choices to make

Real estate broker Alex Cygal knows how tough it is for divorcing couples to find new housing.

She's been through the process herself and is familiar with the options in areas north and west of Toronto — including Brampton, Caledon and Orangeville, Ont., where she works with clients.

A townhouse suitable for a single parent and their children in these areas could cost $3,000 a month to rent — and frequently north of $1 million to buy. Either way, it's a hefty price tag for a single individual to shoulder on their own.

Amid these costs, Cygal said some people in these situations are having to look at moving in with family or friends, or even co-habitate with their soon-to-be-exes, as they figure things out. That comes on top of the general stresses of dealing with the dissolution of a marriage.

"It's very challenging these days," said Cygal, who lived with her former spouse for two years as their separation unfolded.

Divorce brings many difficulties, including finding new accommodations under duress.

Yet the high cost of housing — in addition to an ongoing housing crunch — is making that part of the process that much harder for couples going their separate ways, according to real estate and family law professionals.

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Higher housing costs have implications for divorcing parties with families because affordability can play a role in determining where people can and cannot live.

That can leave parents facing unpalatable choices, like having to live much further away from family than desired.

In a place like Toronto, where rents are high and so are housing prices, soon-to-be-single parents can find themselves with limited options, forcing them to look further afield for more affordable housing.

Debating where to live

Daniella Gold, a Toronto-based real estate sales representative, said these kinds of circumstances can have an impact on how much time children get to spend with the parent who cannot afford to live nearby.

"The kids can't go back and forth if the parents live far away from each other," said Gold, who increasingly works with divorced clients in and around Toronto.

Sitian Liu, an assistant professor in the department of economics at Queen's University in Kingston, Ont., says that married couples may debate similar cost and lifestyle considerations when choosing where to live — whether near work or in a part of a city with desired amenities.

But when couples split up, Liu said these kinds of concerns shift to more "a solo problem," whereby individuals must make decisions about these lifestyle factors on their own.

Joanna Seidel, founder and clinical director of Toronto Family Therapy and Mediation, said tensions over these unwanted lifestyle changes can be an added source of conflict during an already trying process of divorce.

She said housing-related financial challenges have been building in recent years and they bring "a myriad of issues and complications" for families that are splitting up.

"Families stay together unhappily because of the financial strain," Seidel said in a telephone interview.

Interest rate impact

Rising interest rates are also causing pain for people going through a divorce, as they are making it more expensive for people to purchase new accommodations or to potentially buy out the share their soon-to-be-ex's hold in a property.

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Teresa Chhina, 53, says she's resorted to living in her car and couch-surfing with friends during her months-long struggle to secure housing in Metro Vancouver.

"It was much easier when interest rates were lower … for one party to buy the other party out and the other party to go to buy another place, because the cost to borrow was far less," said Barry Nussbaum, senior lawyer and owner of Nussbaum Family Law, a firm with locations in Toronto, Vaughan and Brampton.

"So, now, we're finding that couples, even when they're in a very tough divorce, that they tend to both stay in the house because economically, it's impossible to leave."

Those same higher interest rates also make it more expensive for people to renew their mortgages, meaning a person who can afford to meet their monthly obligations at the moment may eventually find that much more difficult.

The rental side of this problem circles back to the supply and price challenges of the market. Even if two people want to sell a home they shared, that doesn't mean they can afford to each rent a new place in the same area.

"They just can't do that, because they can't afford two rents in expensive areas in the city," said Ari Rubin, an associate lawyer at the Nussbaum Family Law firm.

'Almost impossible to find a place to rent'

People working in real estate can provide examples of just how hard it is to find a place to rent, which is suitable for one's needs and affordable as a single person.

Maggie Horsburgh, a Kitchener, Ont.,-based real estate sales representative, works with a client who split with his spouse and has since found himself having to manage a $3,000-a-month rent on his own — equivalent to what he makes as income.

But it was what he had to pay to find something suitable for himself and his children — and it has forced him to draw from personal savings to pay for that housing, given his income, Horsburgh said.

"Rents have gone up so much that it's almost impossible to find a place to rent," said Horsburgh, noting it was much easier to find a suitable rental only four or five years ago.

"And what they do end up renting is … [a] one-bedroom and they throw the kids down in the living room, or in the basement."

What can people do?

Real estate professionals say the choices divorcing parties have for housing are informed by their financial resources.

"That always comes down to what they qualify for on a purchase," said Horsburgh, who advises people to focus on maintaining the credit and mortgage payments associated with any matrimonial property so they can prepare to move on from the marriage in the smoothest possible manner.

Cygal said some people can find it hard to realize that they have to scale back their living arrangements. Maybe a person who once had a large home ends up in something smaller or renting instead of purchasing a home.

"It's difficult emotionally," said Cygal, whose own divorce saw her make her own adjustments.

She advises clients who are in a position to purchase a property to do so without undue delay, as they cannot predict what future circumstances will be in the real estate market.

'Focus on the people'

Horsburgh recalls experiences in her own life — namely two divorces, which have informed her work in real estate.

"I feel like I'm counselling sometimes," said Horsburgh.

"Because I've been divorced twice — I had a good one and a bad one — I feel like I understand this at a really high level," said Horsburgh, who tries to make clients understand that the material things they are fighting over will not matter in the long run.

She said it's important to ensure the people in this situation have a plan in place to have somewhere to go.

That could involve moving in with family for a while or even moving somewhere else.

Today, Horsburgh and her husband operate a handful of suites available for short-term rentals, catering to people — including those leaving their former shared households — who need a place to stay for a little while.

Gold, the Toronto-area real estate sales representative, who has been through a divorce herself, said people going through this process simply need support on a personal level — and beyond the real estate realm.

"We need to focus on the people," said Gold, who notes these same clients need not only good advocacy from professionals assisting them, but also the support of their family.