Yes, Joe Biden ate ice cream, but it’s the Fox News hosts who are soft in the head

Joe Biden enjoyed an ice cream cone and Fox News melted down this week.

I’m having a decade-old flashback to when the opinion slingers at Fox loaded their bazookas with zingers after Barack Obama committed the heinous act of wearing a tan suit. Or maybe I’m remembering the segments Fox devoted to Obama holding a coffee cup as he saluted marines?

The latest “scandal” started Monday after President Biden was a guest on “Late Night With Seth Meyers.” The comedian started with the elephant in the room, which is that the elephant is old. Voters have concerns about Biden’s age.

The president flipped the script and put Donald Trump in the elephant’s shoes.

“You gotta take a look at the other guy,” Biden told Meyers. “He’s about as old as I am. But he can’t remember his wife’s name.”

The audience erupted. Meyers grinned. And from there, whether he was slipping on sunglasses to lampoon the “Dark Brandon” meme or playing with the conspiracy that Taylor Swift is a Pentagon psyop, Biden was funny, self-deprecating and coherent.

You could hear skulls explode across the right-wing ecosystem.

Funny? Self-deprecating? Coherent? How is this possible when we’ve spent the past four years screaming about how Biden is a senile and bumbling corpse who is governing via Neuralink as George Soros moves the joystick while sipping a chalice of toddler blood?

Unable to nail Biden on hot substance, Fox turned to frozen dairy.

Jesse Watters, a host who has the face of a Jim Henson prototype Muppet sketch and a brain too soft to pass quality control at Ben & Jerry’s, was outraged that Biden visited an ice cream parlour with Meyers after the interview.

This was his chance to simulate the gravity of Walter Cronkite after the JFK assassination.

“You know my rule about men eating soup in public?” Watters asked, as viewers at home struggled to recall any rule involving minestrone or chicken noodle. “I don’t think it’s manly … I think the same thing for ice cream. You should save that for vacation. A grown man, especially the president, should not be licking ice cream in public.”

I can only assume Mr. Watters is a proud girlie man since he too has been filmed licking ice cream in public. Didn’t he also once tape a segment in which he stuffed panna cotta into his pie hole while looking as masculine as Honey Boo Boo? Before he tries again to make dessert a wedge issue, he should type, “Donald Trump eats ice cream” into Google Images.

Spoiler alert: Biden screams, Trump screams, we all scream for ice cream.

But the only reason conservatives are making a mountain out of mint chip is they’ve got no ammo left to use on Biden. Their star impeachment witness was just charged by the FBI for lying.

Immigration? Gosh, there was a bipartisan bill, the strongest in years, and Republicans bailed because Trump sees an open border as politically advantageous. So before the November election, all illegal immigration is now the fault of Republicans. That is inescapable.

You notice how the GOP is suddenly mum on abortion? They gleefully cheered as reproductive rights were rolled back a half-century. Now things are bananas after Alabama’s Supreme Court ruled frozen embryos are children, a decision that will upend IVF treatments. The logic and biological illiteracy is truly bewildering.

Did you just spit out an apple seed? That’s an unborn apple! You just murdered an apple!

But once again, Fox has roped itself into a partisan corner by ignoring reality.

You’d think the network would have learned a lesson after losing a lawsuit to Dominion and paying $787.5 million for airing endless lies about an election that was not stolen. You’d think Fox would have the good sense to reel in the braying jackals on payroll who slither out after the sun goes down to attack Biden without cause or facts or sense.

Fox’s Judge Jeanine — she’s like a Judge Judy with a learning disability — said this week she is “sick and tired” of hearing about how much Biden likes ice cream. I’m sick and tired of wondering if she just guzzled a box of wine.

Joe Biden loves ice cream. Fox loves gaslighting.

Give the man sprinkles and a sugar cone.

If the president saved a drowning woman with CPR, Maria Bartiromo would accuse him of sexual assault. If he rescued a kitten from a treetop, Greg Gutfeld would wonder why Biden was so slow to climb those branches. If he cured cancer, Tomi Lahren would argue carcinogens are a liberal plot and metastasize is a word the Mexican cartels coined for illegal invasion.

These blowhards are anti-American and anti-reality.

Clay Travis referred to Biden’s parlour visit as “super weird.” He wondered if anyone knew other “grown men” who get “ice cream by themselves,” an odd observation since Biden was flanked by Meyers and others.

Dude, you need to visit LensCrafters.

The great Adam Kinzinger tweeted the perfect reply: “WHOA JOE BIDEN ATE ICE CREAM!!! Let’s put the smelly fat whiney crazy belly aching tiny man victim Trump back in! He only eats cheeseburgers! Clowns.”

Yes. Clowns. From jobs to infrastructure to drug pricing to internet connectivity, Joe Biden has done more for all Americans than Dear Leader ever did.

But none of this matters because he likes ice cream.